I can’t even begin to list the massive amount of posts I have read online that address the subject of labels and the issues resulting from their use. I haven’t seen ONE category that hasn’t created a conflict for definition. Those definitions vary as much as the number of people in this lifestyle. I know it’s difficult for many to deeply understand that specific concept of the freedom to say what we want. I spent six years defending that right in the United States Marine Corps. For those who don’t understand that concept, step back in a moment when your mind is clear and look at the big picture; just contemplate what it is we have here.

There are those that will always agree or disagree about the specific definitions of a particular. I believe it’s healthy to be able to discuss a topic and share views. I do not believe it’s healthy to become defensive because someone doesn’t believe in what you feel defines you as their archetype. But, you have the right to get butt-hurt, as long as it doesn’t directly infringe on someone elses’ life. Lighten up, for fuck’s sake …. you’re gonna give yourself a heart-attack.

Now I will express my opinion (everyone has one, just like everyone has an asshole, right?). I completely believe in the concept of humans being a social entity. If you look at many of the social structures in the animal kingdom (maybe we should add a ‘King’ and ‘Queen’ category), there are Alpha and Beta males and females. That structure serves a purpose. Without going any deeper with that example used, our society utilizes the same structure. If you haven’t figured out by now, I firmly believe there is a recognized existence of the Alpha submissive. I know that for a fact as I am engaged (and handfasted) to one. I could go on with my adjectives about her and justify every single one, even if I am biased. She, IMO, is the epitome of what my definition is of an Alpha submissive. That in no way is a slight to any other submissives. There is a need for them in our structure, whether it’s the ‘vanilla’ world or this one.

The issue, the discussion, of the variance of the definition of a Dominant runs the same course as the one about an Alpha submissive, so I won’t add more rambling paragraphs about it. Believe me, I understand the inner turmoil about identity. I see where 21 year-olds post profiles labelling themselves as ‘Masters’, which always gives me a great laugh. But other than observing other Dominants, talking to them, reading articles and books, it’s very challenging to find that unique sub-category which feels like it’s the exact, right or correct one. There are those that have recognized theirs, and I respect that. That’s very difficult to do for most of us.

Many of us ‘evolve’ (well, that’s in general …. there are some who seem to have taken a reversed path ….). It’s a natural process for us all, it varies as much as the number of people there are. Some have the ability to find what they think and believe is the specific definition of who they are. I respect that and will respect them no matter what conclusion they have come to.

Just respect those for stating their views and opinions. That’s their right.


Master, 61

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